What is a Boy ?

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I volunteer at a retirement home, assissting residence to their Music Program. And here I am, I get to enjoy pieces of the old times. Here is a Monologue from Arthur Godfrey (1950’s), which I love and enjoy very much (makes me laugh because of my own boys!). Enjoy! (for you Mo<3)

What is a Boy?

Between the innocence of babyhood and the dignity of manhood, we find a delightful creature called a boy. Boys come in assorted sizes, weights and colors, but all boys have the same creed: to enjoy every second of every minute of every hour of every day and to protest with noise (their only weapon) when their last minute is finished and the adult males pack them off to bed at night.

Boys are found everywhere—on top of, underneath, inside of, climbing on, swinging from, running around or jumping to.

Mothers love them, little girls ignore them, older sisters and brothers tolerate them, adults ignore them, and Heaven protects them.

A boy is Truth with dirt on his face. Wisdom with bubble gum in its hair and the Hope of the future with a frog in its pocket.

When you are busy a boy is an inconsiderate, bothersome, intruding jangle of noise. When you want him to make an impression, his brain turns to jelly or else he becomes a savage, sadistic, jungle creature bent on destroying the world and himself with it.

A boy is a composite—he has the appetite of a horse, the digestion of a sword swallower, the energy of a pocket-size atomic bomb, the curiosity of a cat, the lungs of a dictator, the imagination of a Paul Bunyan, the shyness of a violet, the audacity of a steel trap, the enthusiasm of a fire cracker, and when he makes something he has five thumbs on each hand.

He likes ice cream, knives, saws, Christmas, comic books, the boy across the street, woods, water (in its natural habitat), large animals, Dads, trains, Saturday mornings and fire engines. He is not much for Sunday school, company, school, books without pictures, music lessons, neckties, barbers, girls, overcoats, adults, or bedtime.

Nobody else is so early to rise or so late to supper. Nobody else gets so much fun out of trees, dogs and breezes. Nobody else can cram in one pocket-a rusty knife, a half eaten apple, three feet of string, an empty Bull Durham sack, two gum drops, six cents, a sling shot, a chunk of unknown substance and a genuine supersonic ring with a secret compartment.

A boy is a magical creature—you can lock him out of your kitchen, but you can’t lock him out of your heart. You can get him out of your study, but not out of your mind.

Might as well give up—he is your captor, your jailer, your boss and your master. A freckled-faced, pint-sized, cat-chasing bundle of noise.

When you come home at night with only the shattered pieces of your hopes and dreams—he can mend them all like new with the two magic words—-Hi DAD

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